Bookends

God, Superman, and the Buckeyes is coming to an end. After over five years of blogging at this location, I've decided to begin a new blog and have a fresh start. This blog has taken a great deal of many formats and directions over the years, and I've decided on a fresh start and a new direction. I'll leave this site up, and maybe occasionally post here, but from here on out I am hoping to begin a new emphasis on my blogging and writing. I would invite all of you who have followed this blog here to update to the new location below and hopefully join me over there. I'll probably be engaging in a little shameless self-promotion to begin with to get the thing off the ground. With the ascent of Facebook, I'll also probably not be spending much time on personal matters on the blog, leaving it as mainly a format to discourse on some of the fun and challenging issues I've waded through here in the past. You can find the new blog at . . .

http://theologicalvacillation.wordpress.com

Thanks again for all your comments and readership!

Update

Life has gotten quite hectic over the past few months. The kids keep growing, and they keep us on our toes. If you didn't know, my wife directs the preschool at our church; Clark and Clementine both attend the preschool. Our youngest - Cecilia - gets to come along and hang out with Mary Beth and I in the office. I'm not sure I would change anything - but that all makes life quite hectic. We're out the door running with all three by about 8:30 in the morning. School starts at 9:00. It's over at 12:00. Folks are around until almost 1:00. We've got to feed the kids lunch. Mary Beth sticks around until 3:00 or as long as she can. Then I try to get a few more things done in the afternoon. I try to get out and visit folks most afternoons . . . or have meetings . . . or whatever. In the meantime, I also have to clean up from lunch and help Mary Beth get out the door with all three. We try not to complain, but it is a busy time, and it's hard to keep it all in balance. We need to enjoy it while it lasts, because the big pictures reminds me how fleeting it all is. Clark will begin Kindergarten next year. Cecilia will be in the preschool the following year, and then off we go. So . . . in the mean time, we do our best to get as much work done as possible, and still keep our sanity and our family intact. It's great to all be here together, but it limits what we can do quite a bit.

And, on top of all that, I began my doctorate of ministry degree program today. I will be pursuing a D. Min from Fuller Theological Seminary over the next several years. This, again, will limit my blogging. I've thought about cutting the whole thing out, but I still really enjoy connecting here and, more than anything, venting, exploring, and creating here. I look for more opportunities in the future - possibly overhauling things and changing it up . . .but again . . . time . . . time . . . time. So, in the meantime, I'll be posting a random link or post here on occasion. I've already enjoyed my reading for the current class and look forward to further teasing out my thoughts here.

My program emphasis is on missional leadership. I hope to study in the area of the missional church and the potential that we have in Churches of Christ for engaging that ministry paradigm-change. That is where I am in the beginning; we'll see where I end up. Thanks for all who check in here on occasion and I look forward to what the future has in store.

Also . . . I have turned in a book proposal to ACU Press in regards to some of the things I had posted here earlier in the year. I'm excited about the potential, but we'll see if there is any reason to be :-) It's a bit of a shot in the dark, but something I think is needed, and something that, hopefully, will go along with my direction of study well.

Words from Brennan Manning

I have seen Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel in bookstores and on bookshelves for years. It is one of those few books that I have seen quoted all over the place - in academic books, among musicians, in devotional works, etc. For whatever reason, I have never had much interest in reading it. I found it at the incredible Goodwill in Lewisburg, TN last year (I've found lots of gems there the past few trips) and it's sat on my shelf since.

Last week, I met with one of the senior citizens who meets in our senior small group on Tuesdays, and we decided that we would study Manning's book. I took up chapter one this morning to prepare some opening thoughts for today's study before everyone has their copies. What a way to begin the morning! I can't believe I have waited so long to delve into this work. It has been a refreshing breath of air to my spirit. I am looking forward to reflecting on it in the coming weeks.


I have been busy working through several books lately and have had some blogging topics come to mind. I had planned to spend some time reflecting on a series of articles in this week's Columbus newspaper, following a priest through his seminary trainging at the local Pontifical College. I just finished reading Mike King's Presence-Centered Youth Ministry that had left an indelible mark on my understanding of youth ministry, and coupled with the articles reflecting on entering the priesthood: giving up a family, sex, ten years of your life to training, I started thinking about how seriously I have taken my role as minister/pastor/priest. King notes how when he is in the presence of a Hindu priest he feels like he is in the presence of a holy man, but in the presence of an evangelical minister he feels like he is in the presence of a car salesmen.

It seems to me The Ragamuffin Gospel is going to be just what I need to re-engage my spiritual fervor and remind me of what undergirds my purpose and my position. I found the ending of the first chapter especially compelling:

"Because salvation is by grace through faith, I believe that among the countless number of people standing inf ront of the throne and in front of the Lamb, dressed in white robes and holding palms in their hand, I shall see the prostitute from the Kit-Kat Ranch in Carson City, Nevada, who tearfully told me she could find no other employment to support her two-year-old son. I shall see the woman who had an abortion and is haunted by guilt and remorse but did the best she could faced with grueling alternatives; the business-man besieged with debt who sold his integrity in a series of desperate trasnactions; the insecure clergyman addicted to being liked, who never challenged his people from teh pulpit and longed for unconditional love; the sexuall-abused teen molested by his father and now sellign his body on the street, who, as he falls asleep each night after his last 'trick,' whispers the name of the unknown God he learned about in Sunday school; the deathbed convert who for decades had his cake and ate it, broke every law of God and man, wallowed in lust and raped the earth.
"But how?" we ask. Then the voice says, "They have washed their robes and made them white in the blood of the Lamb."
They are there. There we are - the multitude who so wanted to be faithful, who at times got defeated, soiled by life, and bested by trials, wearing the bloodied garments of life's tribulations, but through it all clung to the faith.
My friends, if this is not good news to you,you have never understood the gospel of grace."
p. 32 - 33

That reminds me of something a friend told me last week that is especially convicting for my conservative friends, "If Jesus were here to today, you know the kind of people he's be with? He'd find a gay Latino who was in this country illegally, who was suffering from complications from an abortion she had, and had a rare disease that was only cureable by advances in stem-cell research.

Now . . . I must rush back to my suburban existence . . .

Sometimes

Sometimes I wonder if anything I believe is "true."
Sometimes I wonder if anything anyone believes is "true."
Sometimes I wonder why people try so hard to find what is "true."
Sometimes I wonder if there is more that is "true" outside of my church than inside.
Sometimes I wonder . . . what is the point?
Sometimes I wonder if Karl Marx was correct and I have spent my last decade doping up.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to be a Native American without so much blood on my hands.
Sometimes I wonder if it would be better to be ignorant and not ask so many questions.
Sometimes I wonder if that is exactly what other people wish that I would do.
Sometimes I wonder if I could possibly be a bigger hypocrite.
Sometimes I wonder why I find it so incredibly difficult to pray.
Sometimes I wonder why I find it so incredibly difficult to understand conservatives.
Sometimes I wonder why I find it so incredibly difficult to understand liberals.
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to punch Rush Limbaugh.
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to punch myself as hard as I could.
Sometimes I wonder what kind of person I would be if I wasn't an American.
Sometimes I wonder if I would be a better person if I had been raised in a different denomination.
Sometimes I wonder if I would be a better person if I had been raised in a different religion.
Sometimes I wonder why I can't shut my mouth.
Sometimes I wonder why I can't be sure about anything.
Sometimes I wonder why God has been so good to me.
Sometimes I wonder when He will choose to test me.
Sometimes I wonder if I should hold more principles at the center.
Sometimes I wonder why I hold so many there.
Sometimes I wonder why I sit before my computer at 1:00 am blogging.
Sometimes I think it is better to sleep than to wonder . . . especially at 1:00 am . . . time for bed.

Catching Up

Somehow I missed the month of June - skipped right over it. We had a great fifth work camp, painting 6 houses. Great to see how God has blessed our efforts there over the past several years. The following week I presented a paper entitled, "G.I. Joe and 'Bearded Lady Jesus: The Challenge of the Empire's Signs and Rituals to Christian Young People" at the Christian Scholars Conference in Nashville, TN. It was a neat experience, and I thoroughly enjoyed the conference. Heard a quite impressive presentation from Barbara Brown Taylor and definitely enjoyed a presentation entitled "Contesting the State's Narrative: Why Teaching U.S. History May be a Heresy" by Richard Goode. That fell quite in line with the work I had done. I've submitted my article to Restoration Quarterly, so hopefully I'll be able to reference the article in publication there soon. Had to hurry back for a wedding, then took a couple days off last week to recoup. Having trouble getting back after it this week . . . we'll be in Tennessee next week to visit Mary Beth's folks. Summer is always so scattered!

On the reading side of things, I have been digging into Nathan Hatch's classic: The Democratization of American Christianity, which directly addresses the political ethos underlying the American frontier Christian revival movements of the early 19th century - a designation my Churches of Christ background relates to directly. I'm just getting into it, but its a very interesting study. Also, each night I'm putting myself to sleep with one of Peter Rollin's parables in his The Orthodox Heretic. I love this book! I will be putting together a review of that one soon. (You can see my review of Hirsch & Frost's ReJesus at www.wineskins.org under reviews).


Over the next few weeks I want to be posting some thoughts on the sermon series my co-conspirator, Anthony, and I have been working on together. We kicked the series off this past Sunday with a message from Paul's experience in Athens. Many people have referenced Paul's actions in Athens as a guide for how Christians are to interact with American popular culture today. Never quoting Scripture, Paul utilizes themes and messages already present in culture that highlight the message of God, ("as some of your own poets have said . . . ") I'm going to try and get these messages added to the sermon player here and on the church's website. Hopefully Sunday's will be up later today.

Consequently, over the next two months we will be immersing ourselves into several movies searching for God in them. His nature and character and teachings are there, we just have to be able to watch with the eyes of an outsider instead of as an insider who is unable to examine the culture critically. It should be an interesting and challenging series as we are asking folks to do something pretty foreign to them. We kick things off this week with a look at the providence of God and The Curious Case of Benjamin Button.

Checking in

I'm entering that really busy time of the year over the next few weeks. We have our annual garage sale tomorrow, our first year of preschool is over this week at church, ending with a graduation ceremony and picnic (I am so proud of all that my wife has done to make this incredible year pass with few hiccups and a great program for our church), Work Camp starts two weeks from Sunday and there is still tons to do for that, I'm working on my paper for the Christian Scholar's Conference that I need to have into the moderator by two weeks from today, the conference is the last week of June, the week which I have a wedding ceremony to perform . . . so, yeah, lots coming up. Oh, and I turn 30 next Sunday . . I keep forgetting about that.

With the busy season, my reading slows as well, though I will be doing as much research as I can fit in for my paper on pacifism and children. Here's the abstract from the conference website:


Adam Metz, Alum Creek Church, Lewis Center, OH: “G. I. Joe and ‘Bearded-Lady Jesus’: The Challenge of the Empire’s Symbols and Rituals to Christian Young People”

Presupposing a position of pacifism, this paper examines the inherent tension existing between the symbols created by the state and conveyed through culture over against the antithetical parallels portrayed in Scripture and lived out through the church. Utilizing examples from popular culture, public school policies, and personal experience this paper extrapolates an inherent tension between Christian faith and patriotic loyalty. This tension has implications for Christian parents raising their children and ministers working with young people in a post-9/11 American empire that seeks to baptize them into an empire narrative at odds with the community of peace.

Before you go and think this is a big deal . . . it's such a big deal that I still have to pay to go to the conference :-) I am excited about the opportunity and will attempt to blog some reflections from my research. I would imagine it will evoke some discussion because it comes from the fringes of Christendom theology.

So . . . anyway, had a second at my lunch . . . looking ahead, I am very interested and working towards beginning my Doctorate of Ministry next fall ('10) and I keep coming back to Fuller's program on Missional Leadership. It'll take me three years, an incredibly loving and patient wife, and lovingly patient children. We'll see! Hopefully it will work out and God will continue to open doors to us. He's been better to us than we could have ever deserved.

Hope for Churches of Christ in Ohio

I want to continue in my postings about my Christian tradition. I spent some time in my previous post reflecting upon my upbringing in the small, backwards Defiance Church of Christ. I began my current ministry position five and a half years ago at a Church of Christ in northern Columbus, OH. Our church is on the very outer-fringes of the Columbus suburbs. It's about two and a half hours from Defiance. In the years I've been in Columbus, the atmosphere of the Churches of Christ I've experienced has been incredibly disappointing and frustrating. I suppose the phone book (and Mac Lynn) probably find evidence of about 25 - 30 "congregations" in the Columbus area. There are a few large enough to be multi-staffed (Fishinger and Kinney Rds., Spring Rd., Northland, Reynoldsburg, Genessee Ave. - Gennessee Ave. is a predominantly black congregation, and while it defies everything I believe to treat them differently, the fact of the matter is, in this conversation, they are a bit different), and Marysville. Also could be included is Heath and Lancaster, but they are a bit futher away. In any case, there are a few.

Columbus, OH is the 15th largest city in the United States. Perhaps you are surprised. I am. For a city that size, our particular denomination is very under-represented. What is more disappointing, is that the few churches that are here don't have much to do with each other. I mean, I know that churches are kind of known for not getting along, but seriously, the churches in Columbus, OH don't care too much for each other. I hardly ever talk to any of the other ministers. I am good friends with one of them, but the others I probably talk to less than once or twice a year. Perhaps that is because I am not making the effort . . . but neither do they. To show that it is not all on me, when I first came to town I tried to begin a regular lunch meeting with the youth ministers - there were about five or six of us at the time . . . we met a few times, then it flopped. Some of the ministers have been here for a long time, most of us have been here from between 5 - 10 years. From my best judgement, this is a deep-seeded disunity that goes back many decades - and there looks to be no progress in sight.

I have met a few ministers from a little further away - Jeff Slater in Ashland, Russell Howard and Matt Dahm in Marion. I could list a few others - but only a few. I went out of my way to attend a meeting in Marion that I didn't find too beneficial simply because I felt it was a good offering of fellowship on my behalf. I have attended events and brought teens and children to local events simply to be supportive. Seldom has that support been reciprocated. I'm not trying to sound high and mighty here either - I repeat, I have failed in this manner as well. I believe this group of churches is in some trouble.

The more conservative churches in the area (Fishinger and Kenney, Alkire Rd., Pataskala, and some others) do a much better job of communicating and associating with one another. They are united by some of their simliar antiquated events such as Bible bowls and such. (Alkire Rd. actually has a school where they offer Bible classes). I commend them for much of their efforts, while choosing to disagree with a great deal of their theology. I see some positive organizational points for them, though I think they may be dying under their oppressive and judgmental theology.

There are a few other chruches that lean more towards the center of "mainline churches of Christ" but are a little on the outs with the more conservative groups mentioned above. That leaves three or four of us others. These other churches (and ours probably leads the way) find ourselves in a theological quandry. We know we we are not "them." About half of our membership consists of people "born and raised" among churches of Christ. Several, however, have been burned by previous churches due to situations of divorce or other tragedies. Many find themselves here because they don't really know where else to go. We don't lose many members to other Churches of Christ . . . instead we tend to be the last church on their way out of the movement altogether.

Our church is different. Two of our elders are in their second marriage (all these situations are complicated, but people in most traditional churches of Christ would probably not be too excited about the details of either of these cases). We have claimed to be a grace-oriented church before it was cool. We don't know much of what's going on in our "brotherhood." We use instrumentally-accompanied tracks on occassions - though we usually don't sing with them. We have used women in an expanded use on occassion - though not regularly. More than anything, we aren't afraid to talk about anything. With all that said . . . we still don't have much of a sense of who we are.

Probably half of our church has been with Churches of Christ for quite some time, but we have a sizeable minority who have no clue about these things. We regularly have visitors, some who stick around even though we are a cappella, who don't know much about us. Our four elders all are "born and raised" church of christers. Both ministers are too. And none of us have any idea what to do.

Some of our members fit nicely in the Church of Christ mold, and would like it if we stand there. They seem really hell-bent on insisting that. We have another sizeable number who fit more in-line with an evangelical mold. They enjoy reading and listening to authors, pastors, from evangelical churches and attend concerts and events that are mainly evangelical. Then, there's a small minority who probalby empathize more with a mainline denominational structure (we have two Catholics who attend regularly for one example - though, of course, they are not considered "main-line").

In addition to these problems, our small membership (100 or so) live in a radius that comes close to surpassing 50 miles. We live in five or six different counties. All in all, it's a mess. And honestly and truly, I have no idea what to do. It'd be a lot easier, as I've stated before, to start a new church. Little of the emergent and missional ideas I read about and empathize with are prepared for any mileage here. Our baggage is immense. And, all the same, I figure we have it a whole lot better than many in our movement.

To make a long post longer, I think Churches of Christ in Ohio are in trouble - especially, and ironically, the progressive ones - or open ones - or whatever you call us. (Maybe confused ones). We have, probably more than anything, lost our mission. We've been so caught up in the newfound freedom in worship that we found two decades ago, that we've never moved beyond that. Now, so much of our time (and especially my time) is caught up in a two-hour event on Sunday mornings. We are currently a church culture more obsessed with the "correct way to conduct an hour-long worship service" than bringing hope, justice, and love to a dying and decaying world. That is a problem . . . and a big one . . .and I sure hope we can take a few very small steps in overcoming that in the coming months . . . perhaps God will allow us through our repentance to participate alongside him - and stand back and watch.

Me and Churches of Christ

There is this peculiar group of churches of which I am a part. It is one of the few American Protestant creations, and it is one that I am proud to be a part - most of the time. I want to spend the next few posts discussing my history in the churches known as Churches of Christ, highlighting what I think are some of our most endearing qualities, apologizing for what I think have been some of our most unfortunate qualities, exploring the hope of the future of our movement, paying special attention to my specific setting: Churches of Christ in Ohio - there ain't many, and they ain't healthy.

In this post I will lay out my personal heritage in Churches of Christ. My lineage in Churches of Christ is linked to my mother's side of the family. My mom's mom died when my mom was only 17, so I never knew her. I know that her (my grandmother) as well as her sisters and brothers were the Church of Christers. We had a prominent place in the small church I first grew up in. Due to many reasons, all of which I am still not aware, my mom did not take us to church regularly until I was about 10. We had attended vbs and things like that on occasion, but not often. There are two churches which underly my upbringing in faith: The Defiance Church of Christ and the Paulding Church of Christ. Both churches are still in existence, but, all signs point to a rapid decline - at least in Defiance.

I have a strong sense of personal calling and it began almost immediately from our regular attendance at the Defiance Church of Christ. It was a church that never had more than 80 and most usally had less than 60 - and now has less than 30. It is comprised of mostly families with West Virgian ancestory (almost exclusively - we were just about the only thorough-bred Ohio family in the church). The Paulding Church of Christ (it is older than the one in Defiance and is a kind of step-father to the Defiance Church) was a little further from my house, so Defiance became our home church. Mom would regularly drag me and my brother and sister there every time the doors were open, as they say.

As I look back, I have a special place in my heart for all the people. They do love God and worship him the best they know how, but I feel strongly that they are the product of several decades of a narrow-minded group-think that starves out any kind of new thinking. Looking back, it was an oppressive environment that I have spent more than ten years overcoming. Financially, they gave me several thousand dollars (like, several, several thousand dollars) to get my degree in ministry, and for that I will always be thankful. As I said, I hold the people there very dear. However, the irony is, that going away to school and getting out of their group think mentality put me, for many of their folks, at odds with their doctrine - which, by the way, we have never talked about since I left.

To make a long story at least a little shorter (remember, this is 20 years of history!) I found the family of faith that I needed to nurture me at church camp. I attended camp at Camp Indogan (where my mom and her sisters had gone) in Angola, IN. That place, too, holds a special place in my heart. Facebook has helped reconnect with several of those friends again. It was there that I feel like my faith was most closely nurtured. From my earliest teenage years I had an insatiable hunger and thirst for the Bible. I actually read through the whole thing because I loved it so much - I didn't learn all the stories when I was a little kid like everyone else. This was all new to me. This is probably the single most endearing quality of our tradition - we love the Bible. We know it better than folks in most denominations - at least we used to, but I'm not so sure about that any more.

Anyhow, my camp environment was much the same as my church. I remember one of my friends from camp coming back from a year at some Preacher School in Florida and the disconnect began even from that early age. Some of my closest friends ended up at Freed Hardeman University, and one visit there during my college years helped me realize how far I was from their teachings - even though they were very consistent with my upbringing.

I grew up in a small town and looked forward to college in a big city - that was probably the biggest driving force to my attending Lipscomb University. I spent six years there for both undergraduate and graduate work. In those six years my understanding of church and specifically Churches of Christ broadened immensely. Many of the thoughts I had early on that I couldn't articulate were given language and a life of their own at Lipscomb. I never had intended graduate school, and looking back I still can't explain what led me there, but it turned out to be the very beginning of a major shift in my thinking. Lipscomb was a nice conservative, but safe place for me to explore and meet me where I was in order to get where I am today.

I now know that I grew up in one of an area of the country where there are fewer churches of Christ per population than just about anywhere else in the country. I now work in Columbus, central Ohio, and there are extremely few churches of Christ north of where I am. There are quite a few in Columbus, but they couldn't be more divided and further a part (and have the same name).

I worked for about four years for the West End Church of Christ in Nashville exposing me to the realities of minstering in Churches of Christ in their stronghold and realized I would probalby never be able to authentically minister there again. I now work for the Alum Creek Church in northern Columbus. I've been here for five and a half years. We have much baggage from our Church of Christ heritage, but the more I interact with people in other Churches of Christ around the country, I realize that we hardly resemble one any more . . . and I have even a more difficult time fitting in.

Probably 75% of our members are here because they have some affiliation or tradition with Churches of Christ, but don't want an old stodgy Church of Christ. We explore and do different things . . . but or leadership and vision continues to be bogged down in exclusively Church-of-Christ thinking. That doesn't have to be a negative, but, more often than not, it's not critically considered, it's just the way that it is.

So . . . I find myself in a precarious position. I love this church, dearly. Great folks here. I love God more, and I constantly ask myself what he has in store for me and my family. How can we best serve him. Often times, I feel the best thing to do is to leave the established church. We seem to be in the same mess the Pharisees were in when Jesus lived, and have the same inability to recognize it. It is incredibly frustrating. And at the same time, I find myself not even thirty. To claim to have many answers seems pretty arrogant and presumptuous. And then I think about David, and Josiah and Timothy . . . and even Jesus himself (I'm just about the point he was at when he "took it public") and I find myself in a push and pull with my emotions and direction. I think our faith is infected with a pretty serious disease. I don't claim to be immune, but I do think I've considered a lot of things critically, when most folks take them for what they are. And, I'm pretty sure that they're better off more times than I would ever want to believe.

In the end, I think there is a lot of hope for our group. There's a sizeable segment that, for all intents and purposes, has broken off. They are represented by about half of the churches in Columbus that have nothing to do with us (and vice versa if I'm being honest). However, there is also a great redeemable segment that is asking difficult questions, that are looking again at our earliest roots and considering whether we've gone astray even from their dream only 200 years removed. I think our group has much hope . . . and much work ahead, and I hope to address both in the weeks ahead.

The Challenge of Working in an Established Church

Through my years in seminary and in ministry, I have often met people who have had their hearts set on planting a church or entering foreign (or domestic) mission work. I can quickly say that I've never shared that desire. I guess when I was a freshman in college I did declare "Missions" as a major, but I don't remember ever taking that seriously as a consideration for my profession. And while I've entertained church-planting on a lot of Mondays, I've never really considered it seriously. I've always been committed to working in an established church. And I often think I am a moron for doing so.

My first reaction to someone working in church planting is, "Man, that must be tough!" I can't even imagine where to begin. However, when I really begin to consider the differences of going at it alone like that and trying to navigate the incredibly complex waters in an already-established church, I think I'll take it back. I actually think it would be easier.

I do have my reasons for choosing an already-established church. If I'm being honest, there has to at least be some element of security in there. A church that has already been around for 50 years is more likely to be around for another 50 than a church that is just starting out. I have seen statistics that show, in the life of a church, the first ten years are the most likely years a church experiences growth. In addition to that, too many church plants end up being demographically uniform with little diversity - at least in age and life experience. Granted, working with a group of people who are mostly my age and in my life stage is incredibly appealing. However, it also seems anemic. The homogeneous church does not seem to be a biblical church. Paul's letters to the Corinthians sure wouldn't make much sense in these kinds of churches.

In the end, as the saying goes, be careful what you ask for because you just might get it. I'm about 5 and a half years into my ministry at Alum Creek. It is a rather unique already-established church. It is unique, because it is established in that it has been around for 50 years, but it also has a freshness because they relocated about 10 years ago to a location a good 10 miles away from the previous spot. I've managed to shrink us down to nearly half of what we were when I got here (ok, maybe 30 percent), but I haven't been asked to any church growth consultations lately. And I find in ourselves, an incredibly difficult flock to lead.

We're going about 100 strong and can probably be pretty well broken up into three groups: our kids & their parents, empty-nesters (Boomers), and older Boomers and seniors. We have folks that drive all over from about a 40 mile radius around us. Our facade places in what could be considers progressive mainstream among Churches of Christ (we have a praise team that a few folks don't like, we use videos with instruments that a couple people don't like, we have a very minimal use of women in our services - a Scripture read here and there, but never in front - which I don't like), but for the most part, I label us as a postmodern congregation with no imagination for anything but a modern way of doing things. We shake up the facade, but don't seem ready to address the "weightier matters."

Much of this has to do with being in an established church. There's a long history of the way we do things. We've changed that up alot in the ten years since we've moved, but the deeper issue is that we've not really changed the way we think about many things. Trying to work through that in the established church is incredibly difficult. We are small and pround . . . but we are also very tempermental - a wrong move here or there and you feel like the whole thing might blow up.

And maybe . . . just maybe . . . that's what needs to happen. Doesn't seem like much changes by sitting around and talking about things - that's what established churches are good at. Until we DO something radical, we'll be content to talk. In the midst of our talking - folks aren't connecting. Young people, especially, aren't connecting. We are associated with the Churches of Christ, which, in Ohio, have done much of the same things for years and years, and have seldom made an impression on the community. The easy thing seems to be to leave and plant a church somewhere . . . but that seems to be the easy things so things get done my way. And that's just scary. It's a matter of committing to a family and seeing where God will lead. It's not easy. It's definitely not quick! Some people will not make it through, for any number of reasons. That's OK, as long as they leave with their faith intact - and if it done in the right way - their faith should be even stronger.

I love the people I have been called to minister beside. I would never trade my intergenerational relationships for success or brighter pastures. However, to say that it's always easy would be a huge misstatement - it's incredibly difficult. So I have gotten what i've asked for . . . now I need to continue to ask for more wisdom and guidance as to where to from here - because I am incredibly frustrated. This post is more for me than you . . . but I hope you can empathize where I am coming from. What would ministry be if it wasn't frustrating? Jesus certainly had his share of frustration.

Ash Wednesday

For just about every other year of my life, the fact that today is Ash Wednesday made no impact on me, I paid no attention, gave it little care. For most of my life, I really had no idea what Ash Wednesday was other than Catholics did it, so it was probably bad. I cringe realizing this as yet another layer of my being needing repentance.

This year, marks a new page for me. I intend to honor Ash Wednesday today as best I can, and continue on in the honoring of Lent beginning today. I have three children, one a new born, and I desire that we as a family honor the ethos of Ash Wednesday and Lent. That we take place in the repentance it requires, that we suffer the introspection it begs, and that we deepen our spirituality therein. If you know nothing of this sacred day of the church, I would encourage you to spend a few moments today seeking out the significance and place. I would encourage you to take a moment from your busy schedule and reflect on the many shortcomings in your life - your tangible moral failure as well as the more nebulous sinful structures and systems in which you contribute to the proliferation of evil in this world. Ignore the misuses of this holiday in the history of the church, and seek out the good that it can be for ourselves. Surely we would be moved to tears if we would but stop to consider our sins. Perhaps that, more than anything, keeps us from taking today seriously. As a way of aiding my own spirituality, and perhaps your own, I offer the below prayers and services of the Episcopal Book of Common Prayer for Ash Wednesday.

"Almighty and everlasting God, you hate nothing you have made and forgive the sins of all who are penitent: Create and make in us new and contrite hearts, that we, worthily lamenting our sins and acknowledging our wretchedness, may obtain of you, the God of all mercy, perfect remission and forgiveness; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen."

"Dear People of God: The first Christians observed with great devotion the days of our Lord's passion and resurrection and it became the custom of the Church to prepare for them by a season of penitence and fasting. The season of Lent provided a time in which converts to the faith were prepared for Holy Baptism. It was also a time when those who, because of notorious sins, had been separated from the body of the faithful were reconciled by penitence and forgiveness, and restored to the fellowship of the Church. Thereby, the whole congregation was put in mind of the message of pardon and absolution set forth in the Gospel of our Savior, and of the need whihc all Christians continually have to renew their repentance and faith.

I invite you, therefore, in the name of the Church, to the observance of a holy Lent, by self-examination and repentance; by prayer, fasting, and self-denial; and by reading and meditating on God's holy Word. And, to make a right beginning of repentance, and as a mark of our moral nature, let us now kneel before the Lord, our maker and redeemer."

"Almighty God, you have created us out of the dust of the earth: Grant that these ashes may be to us a sign of our morality and penitence, that we may remember that it is only by your gracious gift that we are given everlasting life; through Jesus Christ our Savior. Amen. Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return."

[This is an incredible prayer!]

Most holy and merciful Father:
We confess to you and to one another,
and to the whole communion of saints
in heaven and on earth,
that we have sinned by our own fault
in thought, word, and deed;
by what we have done, and by what we have left undone.

We have not loved you with our whole heart, and mind, and strength. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have not forgiven others, as we have been forgiven.
Have mercy on us, Lord.

We have been deaf to your call to serve, as Christ served us. We have not been true to the mind of Christ. We have grieved your Holy Spirit.
Have mercy on us, Lord.

We confess to you, Lord, all our past unfaithfulness: the pride, hypocrisy, and impatience of our lives,
We confess to you, Lord.

Our self-indulgent appetites and ways, and our exploitation of other people,
We confess to you, Lord.

Our anger at our own frustration, and our envy of those more fortunate than ourselves,
We confess to you, Lord.

Our intemperate love of worldly goods and comforts, and our dishonesty in daily life and work,
We confess to you, Lord.

Our negligence in prayer and worship, and our failure to commend the faith that is in us,
We confess to you, Lord.

Accept our repentance, Lord, for the wrongs we have done: for our blindness to human need and suffering, and our indifference to injustice and cruelty,
Accept our repentance, Lord.

For all false judgments, for uncharitable thoughts toward our neighbors, and for our prejudice and contempt toward those who differ from us,
Accept our repentance, Lord.

For our waste and pollution of your creation, and our lac of concern for those who come after us,
Accept our repentance, Lord.

Restore us, good Lord, and let your anger depart from us;
Favorably hear us, for your mercy is great.

Accomplish in us the work of your salvation,
That we may show forth your glory in the world.

By the cross and passion of your Son our Lord,
Bring us with all your saints to the joy of his resurrection.

Fatherhood . . . Again

Friday morning at about 3:00 am my wife got out of bed and informed me that she believed that her water had broken. An early morning wake up call to her doctor confirmed it. We headed to the hospital and later that morning at 9:40, Cecilia Elizabeth Metz was born at Riverside Methodist Hospital. She arrived in the world weighing a solid 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 20 inches long. She is incredibly healthy and beautiful. Her umbilical cord was huge highlighting a very healthy pregnancy. We will be leaving the hospital in an hour or two.

This most recent (and intended to be final) addition to the Metz family tilts the familial scales heavily in favor of the estrogen hormone. I have offered for Clark and me to take over the basement and have given the girls the reign over the rest of the house - we'll see how that proposal fleshes out.

In all seriousness, this day gives me pause for an incredible blessing from God. I have no words to thank God enough for the way he has blessed Mary Beth and I. In our pursuit of a family, we have never had any trouble concieving, we've never lost a baby through miscarriage, we've never had even a simple compication in now three child births, with the past two we've just spent one night in the hospital, our families have always been there to support us and help us out, our church family has always surrounded us and our children with love and support, our neighbors came over at three in the morning this go round to watch our kids - all incredle blessings from God.

Being in ministry, I see plenty of people who have had heartache after heartache in their pursuit of children and it serves to reinforce the goodness of God in my family's life. We don't deserve it. We are no better than any other family - far short of some to be sure. But we graciously accept it for what it is and give God all thanksgiving and gratitude. The road will not always be as clear and hazard-free as it has been to this point, but at the moment we thank God for all that he has done for us to this point. I feel the pull for the many families who have had the trials we have managed to avoid.

No matter how many times you go through the process of childbirth (Mom or Dad) the miracle of life never ceases to amaze. Yesterday I sat and looked at this little baby who was just a few minute ago in my wife stomach, and a few months ago nothing more than a sperm and an egg (in case you didn't know that - ha ha). Amazing. Life has never seemed more precious or fragile than it does for me right now. Abortion has never seemed more tragic. Child abuse has never seemed more inhumane. And love never more powerful.

And . . . just in case anyone was wondering, we failed on our boy name for the second time and are ready to release it for public knowledge - maybe someone needs a boy name:

Caedmon Adam Metz . . . wasn't meant to be :-) But, check out the story of Caedmon - awesome.

Strange Week

This has been a strange week. We got a pretty good snowstorm Monday night into Tuesday. The 8 or 10 inches of snow wasn't that big of a deal, but the inch solid ice that covered everything was. Luckily we didn't get anything near what they did south of us, but it made for a strange week. The preschool was closed at the church every day but one (Monday), meaning our schedule was completely off. Me being a not real scheduled guy meant I struggled through the entire week. I think I had a bit of depression lingering in too (probably still do). That's a solid family trait so I'm sure it will come around from time to time. More than anything, I think it is an internal anxiety knowing how much our lives are about to change. Within the month now, we'll have the baby. Been there, done it before . . . I think that brings more anxiety instead of putting it to bay. In any case, I haven't gotten nearly what I wanted to get done this week (or probably should have). One of the biggest challenges in ministry is being totally at it alone (know what I mean here, I know God is here, but . . . well, you should get it). It's one of the best parts of it - that side everyone envies, but seldom do those same people acknowledge the difficulty that lies there too. Seldom is there a "right" thing to do. There are several options - some good, others better, and a few wrong, but mostly, the onus is on me. That's burden to carry. Haven't carried it well this week.

Anyway, I noticed I have't posted this week and I am trying to be regular. I appreciate everyone's comments. I have had a couple positive interactions this week from folks that I have met here, furthering reassuring me that this blogging things isn't a total waste of time :-) Due to the weather, I was not able to watch the next installment of the Truth Project. Our church finished with the project Sunday, and I need to go back and watch one episode on the state, one on America, and the final one on community. I'll try to briefly (yeah right) comment about each of the three separately. It seems to have been good for many folks to see some critique of each of the vidoes (though I did miss a few).

I also finished the book Onward Christian Soldiers: Freeing the Gospel from Political Captivity by Charles Marsh. Wasn't my favorite book in the world, and I'm not sure I'd recommend it, but there were a few places where I thought it was great. He just skipped around and the logic of the book was a little tough for me to follow.

In this book Marsh offers a stinging criticism of evangelicals in this country and the way they have sold out the Gospel for political power. I don't have time to offer a review of the book, but I'll say that it was a solid work and offered critique consistent with other books I have reviewed (see Jesus for President, The Myth of A Christian Nation, Mere Discipleship, et at.) This book differed slightly in that he took on the evangelical priaise for George W. Bush a little more directly. For Marsh, Bush's election marked the pinnacle of evangelicalism's selling out for political gain. He offers direct criticism of Bush's claimed evangelical faith (it was a little uncomfortable to read him being critical of another's faith, but I think he proceeded cautiously, and offered rationale for doing so).

For me, the real profit of this work came in Marsh's second to last chapter on "Passing the International Test." I found it incredibly moving and convicting to see how incredibly America-centric evangelicals in this nation have become. His argument culminates with the inclusion of five pages worth of statements from faith communities around the world standing in opposition to the U.S. invasion of Iraq. Brazil, International Movement of Catholic Students, the church of England, Germany, the conference of European Churches, Ghana, the Greek Orthodox Church of Alexandria and all Africa . . . and on and on . . . groups, churches, brothers and sisters, who opposed the invasion. And yet, at the height of the invasion, the approval rating for going through with the invasion among evangelicals was an incredible 70 or 80 percent. How could they not consider these voices?

Whatever you think about the war, Marsh offers a challenge for you to see the actions of our nation (this war most specifically) through the eyes of the church of the world - something that I know is sorely missing in my church, in my personal faith, and every faith community I've ever been part of. I must realize that I have more in common with the persecuted believer in Djibouti, than I do with my neighbor who votes the way that I do and who likes the same sports teams. That is an important first step forward in our discussions of faith and politics.

Ringing in the New Year

Now that the holidays are finally over, I have found a few minutes to update the old blog. Actually, I'm avoiding the long list of things I need to get after today in the office, but wanted to get things updated on here. I've had several thoughts of what to post here in the new year, but I figured I'll just offer a few random thoughts. The holiday foray lasts a little longer for the Metzes as we have managed to cram as many significant events in a short amount of time as possible: December 18 we celebrated our 9 year anniversary (even writing it now, doesn't seem possible), December 25 - duh, then the New Year (a.k.a. stay in pjs and watch football all day), and, just to get one more week's worth of planning and festivities in - Clark's birthday is Jan. 7 - Wednesday! So . . . next week EVERYTHING will finally be back to normal. Clark's going to be 4 - amazing.

I thought I might look back at last year and process some of the excitement that was 20o8. Major events seemed to occur on just about all counts:

In the family: there's no doubt our biggest event was finding out we'll be having our third little runt running around (due in about 7 weeks now). Mary Beth and I both felt as though one more baby would complete our family and God has once again been good to us with fertility and, so far, another relatively smooth pregnancy (easy for me to say!) Clementine had a run-in with a pretty nasty infection around her birthday last year that gave us a bit of a run - really our most serious health "crisis" to date - we ended up in urgent care. Other highlights were our trip to Cleveland for our fourth Opening Day event - probably our smoothest to date. Later, in May, we took Clark on the biggest surprise of his life when we watched the Indians get mauled by the Rangers, stayed the night in Cleveland, and then went to Day out with Thomas. (Thomas the Tank Engine rules at our house). I took Clark to his first "official" Ohio State football game (he went to two games when he was just a baby) at the Youngstown St. blowout - the big news of that game was Beanie Wells' injury.

On vacation: We had two great vacations last year. About a year ago we were anticipating our cheap flight down to Miami, FL - thanks to the now bankrupt Skybus airways. We sure are glad we got it when we did. We had a great week spent with our friends in Miami, at the beach, in the everglades, and then capped it off with three great days in Key West. It was a fantastic trip we'll always remember. Mary Beth and I took an early 10 year anniversary trip (a year early, but we're anticipating having trouble finding babysitters for 3 kids this year for our actual 10 years) in Maine. We stayed at a quiet bed and breakfast near Acadia National Park across the harbor from Bar Harbor. We had an amazing trip looking at some of the most incredible scenery I've ever seen. We even made an unexpected, but fortunate, trip to New Brunswick on Campbello Island - a really neat place I would highly recommend to anyone. It was a great week to get away with my wife.

On the job: We had a rather tumultuous year on the job - positive and negative tumults. The year started off with some major challenges as we had to fire my co-minister. He had just started working with us less than a year previous and the situation was never positive. He had misrepresented himself and reaped what he had sown. It was a learning experience for our congregation, our eldership, and, most especially for me. I admired our elders leading us through an especially difficult time and believe that we will be better for having lived through it in the end. However, enduring the process has no doubt tested the patience and faith of our members. Once some time had passed, and after extensive talks with our elders, my role changed a bit in October and we have brought on one of our members in part-time capacity to work alongside me. My title is now Family Life Minister, and while I maintain my focus on teenagers, I also now have an expanded role working alongside my co-minister planning our Sunday events, establishing a leadership framework, and doing whatever else comes along. The situation is a bit of a stretch for some, and I am doing my best to learn as we go each day.

A more exciting reality for our professional lives has been Mary Beth's venture as director of the new Alum Creek Preschool. Her hard year's work has paid off, and the preschool opened in September. It is a part-time program with three teachers and enrollment now around 30 children. The school meets on Mondays - Thursdays from 9:00 - 12:00. It has made our roll at the church even more complex as we now serve as preschool director, preschool parents (Clark is in the 3 year old class), preschool-church liason, and countless other roles.

On a personal level: I hope that 2008 was a year that I have become a better dad, husband, and friend. Those are truly immeasureable roles, and undoubtedly I have grown in areas - and shrank in others! The role as dad becomes increasingly more complicated by the day. Having a third child to be responsible for this year scares me even more! Finding time to be a husband through all of this is even more of a challenge. Through the year, my relationship with Mary Beth is more challenged than anything. We have to work so hard to see each other, and talk, and maintain and actual relationship - being married to the best woman in the world helps me out there alot!

I set personal goals to read more books and I have found time to do that (not having a newborn helped there alot! - we'll see that lag again this year). I also hoped to blog more regularly and I have found 2008 to be better served there as well. I have in the back of my mind plans to work towards my D. Min. degree, but time and finances continue to be an issue. I continue to be interested in Fuller Seminary, but have accepted that to be a far-reaching plan.

I have also continued to work towards becoming a better minister, professionally. Having our children with us, and with the preschool opening, I have Clementine by myself in the mornings, has tested my efforts of time management and organization. I press on and hope to improve in those areas this year. THere is a great need for improvement there. I have maintained relationships with only friend I've met through benevolence at the church this year - he was the first to call me on Christmas morning - and I'd really like to see that area of my life improve as well. I joined the Family Promise board in Delaware looking to open homeless beds in Delaware County - which will be a tenable effort.

The political scene of 2008 has gone a great dinstance in solifiying my pacifist positions. I got a bit sucked into the political season and it led to a time of reconsidering. One of my elders offered me a book that has challenged some of those presuppositions and has helped me think through some of the more challenging aspects of my opinions (thanks, Curt), and it has helped confirm to me much of that perspective. Academically, I feel as though I have grown in that area as much as any. Shane Claiborne & Chris Haw's book Jesus for President helped lead me in that area a great deal. I was most challenged in 2008 by my reading of Miroslav Volf's The End of Memory and have found a new theological mentor. I began Exclusion and Embrace, but will have to eat some more Wheaties and try again this year to really delve into it. The End of Memory really challenged the intersection of practice and theory in dealing with enemies for me. It was just great!

Spiritually, 2008 was a very challenging year. While I found renewed vigor in my academic pursuits, prayerfully and biblically, I continue to wrestle to find peace and quiet and solitude. I feel as though I have had four challenging years re-inventing this all-encompassing area of my life since Clark was born. I do not believe that spirituality is a part of life, but the whole of it, however, part of that spiritual life is maintaining the spiritual disciplines in rooting my faith - and that, frankly, continues to be a struggle. Prayer, especially, is a constant challenge. I continue to recover from the truncated prayer-life I was taught growing up, and the total absence of a family prayer life. Without that example and experience to pull from - leading my own family in that is especially a challenge. Following a friends suggestion, we have recently begun reciting both the Shema and the Lord's Prayer with our children before bed each night. That renewed emphasis has been a breath of fresh air that I hope will spill into my own spiritual fervor. My passion and desire for Scripture is higher than it's been in awhile. I hope in 2009 to find more time to sit and meditate as the Psalmist of the 119 Psalm does. I continue to look for his incredible desire for the Word in my own life. I prayerfully and humbly move on knowing the incredible need for growth in this area.

Well . . . if you've hung on this long reading this post, you've probably seen more about me than you've ever wanted to. A few words on the blog. I again hope to give the Supermetz blog added attention and time as the year procedes. I foresee a major facelift as I glance through some of the new tools available. It has been a neat tool to meet some new people - a few of you I've know for a long time and I appreciate you stopping by regularly to check out the thoughts here. Those of you who are new, I also appreciate whatever common cord I've seem to struck with you. I have added the feature in recent months to better track who visits here and how often they stop by and how they got here, and all that (the series of the Truth Project has added some additional traffic to be sure - I will probably be seeing the final three videos beginning next week, so I'll try to post on those).
I'd also like to see the blog become more dialogue-driven, but I understand the extra time that takes for everyone, so we'll just see what happens. I remain committed to commenting here regularly, as it proves to be theratpeutic for me . . . this post has especially prepared me for the New Year of excitement that awaits. Godspeed to everyone, and may this year be a year of blessings to all!

Political Wake

I write this post as the 2008 political campaign has finally ended. At 29, this marks the third Presidential election of my voting career. Having taken part in these three elections (and most of the others in between), this election year was altogether different for me. In the weeks and months leading up to yesterday, I had countless conversations, emails, facebook exchanges, etc. with people who vehemently disagreed with my political ideology and an occassional sympathetic ear - but I find myself very alone in this arena. Perhaps, I'll look back one day and see that this was the political season that raped me of my youthful naivete in approaching politics. I, as a minister, I have found myself in a precarious position. Most of us know to leave politics out of the pulpit as it has no place there. I've never been tempted to dabble there - that area seems pretty black and white, but from there the water gets a little cloudy.

Most ministers I talk with leave politics at home. They don't put signs up in their yard or bumper stickers on their car (both, I strongly believe all people of faith should avoid - public endorsement like that seems like a bigger barrier to the kingdom than anything positive). They don't blog about it (unless they have some secret blog that no one from their church knows about - yeah, I don't think many folks from church come here, so I'm guilty). They limit their conversations with sympathetic church members they know to be "safe." I suppose there is some value there. It seeks to avoid polarization. I in no way wish to cast aside those good intentions. However, I can't help but seeing in that perspective a bit of superficiality and television evangelist. If someone asks me what I think, I believe I should tell them what I think instead of dancing around like some little girl holding in her pee. We, like the rest of the world, have strong convictions and beliefs. Talking about them with others helps temper our ideals as well as challenge them and grow them. I don't believe that we should go on the offensive, but I also believe that we should not run from them and play the politically safe game. Avoiding them altogether, as many do, seems too "safe." Perhaps, their naivete is long gone and they realize how hot the fire is we are playing with.

So . . . I chose to be a bit more vocal about things for the first time. Still no preaching or signs or bumper stickers, I'm not talking about that. But, I have posted publicly on facebook a couple of articles that lean to the left. (I'm sure there were a few folks who said, "I thought he was a minister!") I have made comments here and there on facebook (which are seen by 300 plus people I know at differing levels - most Christians, some not). It's been a great way to reconnect with some folks at a level beyond the, "How's the wife and kids" stuff. The result has been numerous conversations on ideology with people I know at varying levels and who are from an array of different socio-economic situations: doctors, lawyers, factory workers, professors, business folks, other ministers, that one strange guys that I don't know what he does, and that girl from high school who I think is stalking - just kidding, on both accounts). At first, I thought, great! We can talk through these things and hopefully help each other grow, etc. That's where that naivete was probably still alive and well. The discussions turned to tomes, and I came to realize that my minutes were turning to hours addressing this stuff. The tone of the discussions also changed. What I entered into, at first, with an open and honest heart, quickly became frustrated and more interested in changing the other person's opinion than any kind of growth or encouragement. I got really caught up in that again today, when I finally realized I needed to take a step back and think about things. The result is this, very long, post that is currently on my blog and posted as a note on facebook.

I am disappointed with the attitude of so many Christians I have seen living out their faith in this political season. I am disappointed, especially, in myself. I, like so many others, have lost my way this political season. I have become more interested in arguing my wacky concepts that nobody is pro-abortion, that capitalism isn't God's one and only design for the economy, that the zealous nationalist patriotism so many Christians hold to, looks similar to jihadism from outside our country, and on and on (these things I think are important and uphold a counter-culutral sense of politcs that the wounded Lamb embodied choosing the way of death instead of imperial power - that's the point of Revelation!) And I have failed to use this opportunity to hold unabashedly to my core tenet of faith: there is a Supreme Being who has created this world as it is, and who, through some incredible Providence that I cannot understand, will make all things good in the end. I have forgotten the great catechism that has guided so many believers in history: "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy him forever." Not to win elections. Not to pursuade people of the "right" answers.

As we move forward into this new world, I believe that Obama's tenure will bring a new chapter to our nation in many ways. For me, the most important thing to be said as we move toward a new world will be learning to move beyond our prejudices. No matter your affiliation or feeling, you couldn't help but be moved by the scene in Chicago last night which inspired hope and opportunity for all African Americans in our country. Hopefully, all were able to set partisianship aside last night for a few hours and just enjoy what this means in the big picture of our nation - and of the world. John McCain's concession speech encouraged all to do so, and was a wonderful call for all to move forward. This is the most important political event of my 29 years.

The way forward means a call to a new conversation. I apologize to people who are not Christians who have watched over the past months and have seen no difference between people of faith and those without faith. I am sorry we have not shown the way forward in the midst of disagreement. We should have shown the way. Our sacred text reads that nothing is to divide those with a believing faith in Christ - but that has not been the case - or at least it has not been evident. We are divided . . . blue and red Christians.

You and I both must overcome the desire to be right, and instead let the desire to be good be our chief aim. Instead of locking heads about the semantics of abortion law, let's work together to help young people find more constructive things to do with their time than have irresponsible sex. Instead of fighting over how to best combat terrorism, let's make every effort as individuals, organizations, businesses, and even government to be people who love others. I am sorry to say that our faith does not fight force with force and may not always look "successful." Instead of bickering over money and taxes, let's share the incredible wealth our nation has been blessed with with those in our cities and living on the streets, with those around the world. I am sorry so many of my fellow Christians speak of what they want to do with "MY" money. All that I have is yours, and if you have a need that I can address, I will do all that I can to do so. Instead of arguing over health care, let's help take care of our neighbors and fellow citizens.

Most non-Christians would be surprised to know that this is exactly what the first church was like. There are four Gospels that tell us about the life of Christ, and then a Book called Acts which tells us what Jesus' followers did with his teachings. Early on we find thousands who were cut to the heart and didn't know what to do in light of thier faith. They came to believe that Jesus was God's Son, and became followers of him. The result was not toting Bibles around yelling at people, but instead living communally with each other. They shared all that they had. They cashed in their retirement accounts and took care of each other. They ate together every day. They created little communal societies of accountability. It wasn't easy - which is probably why they didn't last. But, there can be little doubt that if the church was doing that today, many of the arguments that created our political campaign this year would have never happened. Early on, it was difficult for leaders of the nations to do anything to the Christians - they were so peaceful and helped the nation so much. Compare that to today, and it is hardly recognizeable.

So . . . for all of those who are reading this who have had long dialogue with me, I am sorry that I have taken up so much of your precious time. Thank you for taking the time to read these words right now. Those of you who don't know me at all, or have lost touch, I hope this is a clear window into my heart and mind. For Christians reading this, I hope you will turn the news off tonight, stop reading political articles online, and spend time with your family. Pray with your wife and kids. Leave the comfort of your home, and find someone in need. Over and over again we are commissioned that way, but I run from those opportunities. Pray about your church. Pray that God will move in you. It is my suspicion that most of you are like me and have spent much more time reading through political rants than quality time with your Maker. I know it sounds trite, and it isn't like me to be trite, but I can't really remedy this issue any other way.

I come from a tradition that inadvertantly has used prayer more like a cop-out than the incredible world changing power that it is. I feel well-grounded and totally dependent on God in some areas of my faith, but prayer is not one of those areas. I think sometimes I read, blog, or do other things to avoid the face to face encounter with a God I so seldom talk with. I think, if you are like me, I need to stop typing and reading . . . and spend my time where I can actually do some good - relying on the one who will get me there. And, if he tells you how to fix some of these major problems, be sure to let the rest of us know!

Back from Maine and Caught up . . . Almost

Whew . . . what a couple of weeks. I've been able to sit back and really appreciate our blessings over the course of the past two weeks. In a matter of two weeks I've been able to spend some good quality time with my wife. I suppose it is the last hoorah before Astird (after last night's episode of The Office, our unborn child will be known until Astird until further notice - if you missed it, watch it on line!). We spent a week in Maine. We flew to Portland, spent a day there, and then drove up the coast through L.L. Bean land in Freeport, ME, and enjoyed the rest of our trip at the Oceanside Meadow Inn bed and breakfast on the ocean in Prospect Harbor, across the harbor from Acadia National Park. It was one of the most incredible places I've ever been. I'd tell you all about it, but I'll let the pictures do the talking. They are on another computer - I'm hoping to upload them to my new flickr account soon. We also took a really neat side trip we weren't planning on taking further up the coast and, actually entering New Brunswick, Canada, visited Campobello Island - follow the link to learn about it - it was really neat.

Monday night we went to the Monday Night Football game in Cleveland where the Browns took on the Giants in a beat down that lit that city up unlike I have ever seen. We hung out and tailgated a few hours before kick off with some friends. It was incredible. Got to my parents house at 4:00 am - that was kind of rough - but well worth it.

Tonight ends our little two-week escape from reality as we will be attending our first musical of the season (we have season tickets again this year) Frost/Nixon. Neither of us know much about it, so it will be interesting. Our social calendar has never been this full, but it has been nice to enjoy that time. We'll come crashing down to reality tomorrow. My last j.v. football game is tomorrow and I'll be done for the season. I am taking the advancement test on Nov. 1 to become a class 1 official to be able to do varsity contests next year. That'll be fun - if I pass.

I have a few things that have been rumbling in my mind to post here. One involves a book that everyone has been talking about. Another is a reflection on my current political status. And just some other ramblings. Since I've already posted at length here today, I'll think I'll just comment a bit about the book and get political next week - I'm sure you're disappointed!

Everywhere I look folks are talking about The Shack. Just Google it and I'm sure a million blogs alone will come up. I didn't really know anything about it other than everyone was talking about it - apparently I wasn't listening to them! So, I picked it up and Mary Beth and I read it together in Maine. In many ways it wasn't at all what I thought it was going to be - but at the same time, I didn't have a clue what to expect. Anyway,

It's the story of a father wrestling face to face with God over demons of his past - a poor relationship with an abusive father and the horrible murder of his daughter. Wm. Paul Young uses a vivid narrative to wrestle with some of the most challenging points of faith. There is a flury of folks debating over the intricacies of Young's theology. Interesting, as a "trained" theologian, I didn't spend much time reflecting on that (probably means I'm not trained very well!) , but instead engaged the story as it was. Without giving much away, God shows up in the story as three separate people: a large black woman, an intriguing and mysterious Asian woman, and a joe schmo Jesus. I loved the depiction of the three members of the trinity! It had to make you smile, and at the same time think!

I don't want to delve much into the book other than to say that I didn't like it in the beginning, but it grew on me. It was a bit cheesy at first, but as I worked through it, it grew, and then I thought the ending was great - fitting and provacative. On the cover of my copy Eugene Peterson's comment is, "This book has the potential to do for our generation what John Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress did for his. It's that good!" I'm not sure that I share his enthusiasm quite to the extent that he does, but it is a good book nonetheless.

I think the true modernists will really struggle through the work focusing not on the well-described narrative and instead labor through -ologies and -isms that don't seem quite to fit into the "correct" box. I think it's funny how people freak out about stories like this instead of allowing them to simmer and transform us. I have already found myself using it as a solid reference work for people who have dealt with tragic, traumatic situations and severely wrestle with the "why?" and the "How could he?" questions - something we all at times have to address.

In the end, it left me reflecting on my faith and challenging my transparence and commitment. I enjoyed it and think it will be profitable for all. And . . . that's all I'm going to say about that.

Foundations

Well . . . first things first . . .

* The Indians season is over finishing 81 - 81. .500 baseball. Well, there's always next year. I'm calling on all Indians fans to root hard for the Cubs so that the glory that is most years without a World Series Championship can be all ours!

* The Buckeyes won against an average Minnesota team. I'm a little put off by the incredible infatuation the national media has taken to the SEC. Georgia got smoked by Alabama and only falls a few spots because, goes the argument, well . . . I mean, they're in the SEC. Really the only basis for judgment you have between conferences is how they play outside of them, and then SEC doesn't, so why the love for them? The guys on CBS actually berated the Big Ten for their out of conference wins against Fresno State and Oregon State. Wait a minute? The SEC won a big one at Arizona State - big whip. The fact that its been 50 years since they went West to play football says something about their internal haughtiness. The argument that, "We're too good to play a good team outside the conference" is incredibly circular. Fact of the matter: anyone team can beat any other team on any given day. Finally, how could Auburn possibly jump Ohio State in the polls. It's not anything about propping up OSU as it is asking anyone, "Have you seen Auburn play?" Their offense is abysmal.

* The Browns won possibly the ugliest NFL game to be played in 25 years. They are bad, bad, bad. Only remedied by how bad the Bengals are. Apparently there's something in the water sheds running between Detroit, Cleveland, and Cincinnati because those three football teams are really not good - again. Maybe after the bye-week, it's time for Brady Quinn. The next Browns game is one week from tonight - and Mary Beth and I will be there! Exciting! Though, when we got the tickets, I honestly thought they would have a winning record going in (at least 2 - 2). Oh well, Monday night in Cleveland will be a blast!

* One week from yesterday the wife and I head to Maine for a romantic get away. A week away from the kids celebrating our final months before the baby comes, and officially ends our private relationship between the two of us, and celebrating, a year early, our ten year-anniversary. Ten years in 2009. Wow.

* Yesterday, it was announced at church that I am now officially the Family Life Minister for the Alum Creek Church. Nothing's really changed, but we're making official the way things have been running ahead for awhile now. We're taking someone else on part-time to work alongside me and I am excited about all that is ahead for us in that position and the church. We have been given the go-ahead to really open our minds to different possibilities of operating in our setting.

* Theologically finding a closer affinity towards post-liberalism, politically being sucked towards liberalism, socially understanding economics and society liberally - I feel more and more like a fish out of water every day. Try as I may to fight that feeling and challenge that ideology, it seems to settle in on me each day and I feel more at peace with it . . . it's just relating to others outside of the sphere that is a challenge. I try hard not to label myself, or anyone else for that matter, but the fact of the matter is, there is an ideological framework within which we all operate, and that seems to be more and more the parameters from which I work. But . . . God can redeem even that!

Avoiding Burn Out

From my first ministry class in college, warnings against ministerial burn out have been constant. Nearly every ministry-natured book I've ever read addresses it, any professional minister who has been in the business very long knows the potential, it seems to be nearly universally recognized as one of the greatest threats to full-time ministers (and full-time volunteers for that matter).

I began my first internship 10 years ago this past summer meaning I have now, officially been in ministry for ten years. That is a lot of time - 1/3 of my life to be exact. There are a couple of sides to this fact that I am particularly concerned with keeping tabs on. First of all, the longer I work as a full-time minister, the harder it is getting for me to empathize with people who have "real jobs." The fact of the matter is ministry just doesn't have a very compatible vocation from whence employers can empathize. Secondly, I constantly attempt to monitor the effect working for a church has on my family. I grew up in a family that went to church most of the time, but hardly ever as a family - my dad went very infrequently. What a difference to be part of a family that is at everything - before everyone gets there, and well after everyone has left. My great fear is that my children will grow to resent church. Thirdly, not only have I been in ministry for 10 years, I've been at the same place for 5 years. Looking at the typical longevity of ministers in the same locations, that's a pretty good time. However, when you do the same thing for so long, especially at the same place with the same people, creativity and freshness become and issue. I work very hard to try and re-invent the way I approach ministry as often as possible, and believe this to be one of the most difficult aspects of ministry. Fourthly, I'm worried about burning out.

As I started with, burn out is hardly something obscure. It's a reality for so many. The constant-ness of ministry can easily and quickly lead to burn out. I suppose I view burn out a couple of different ways. I have seen burn out lead to ministers that totally withdraw. They withdraw to the point of doing only what it takes to get by, believing they have no other vocational options, and reduce themselves to long hours of study and few hours of interaction or productive moving forward. There is a real side of burn out that leads to depression and a real dark night of the soul. While I've been on the brink of such a place, I have been fortunate to, as of yet, avoided the darker pit.

I've been especially fortunate to be at a place for 5 years that deeply cares for me and my family as well as our spiritual and all around well-being. I have a great deal of freedom and flexibility to care for myself. Ocassionally, I take mental health days. The reality is, we all need them. In our work-obsessed culture, we've largely lost the value of quiet, peaceful getaways - even in the midst of the week. This is where the disconnect between vocational ministry and secular work sometimes leaves me without a voice. I firmly believe most of the people I work alongside need to take more time off, to themselves, but I can hear the responses as quickly as I offer the suggestion - I can't: the work won't get done, my boss won't let me, etc. I am in a unique position where I work (I sometimes take time to write silly entries like this at the height of the day), so it's difficult to have a voice there, but, I believe all too often, they have sold out. They, as much as ministers, often wind up burned out.

The great balm for me has been football. Now, sports is a difficult topic and I believe a power (ie. the "powers" that Paul speaks of), and are one of our nation's greatest idols. However, I have found a great healing and medicinal value in officiating football games. I took the class five years ago, not long after I came to Alum Creek, and for two years did nothing but go through the motions to keep my license. Then, I decided I was either going to do this, or not. So, for the past three years I have officiated about 20 football games from middle school to junior varsity. I'll be taking my varsity test in November so I can do varsity contests next year. Early on, I decided I needed a hobby, a social setting, far away from churh work, and it has been more healing and therapuetic than I ever would have imagined. Here are some of the things I've found beneficial:

* It's something I enjoy doing. I love football, and enjoy the rules of the game.
* I still get to be around teenagers. Two years ago I did a couple of games with one of the teens in the youth group playing.
* It's a social setting with NO ONE from church! I love those folks, but it is nice to know people who don't go there!
* It's physically active. Contrary to what some officials look like, it is fairly active.
* I get to be outside! I love being outside and this gives me a regular responsibility out there.
* I get paid! The icing on the cake is that I make a few hundred extra dollars.
* I can live out my faith as average joe instead of Mr. Minister. Few people I work with know I am a minister, and that's nice. It gives me the chance to offer a life lived out as a football official and Christian. If there is ever a place that needs the light of Christ it's football coaches and players being reminded there is more to life.
* Working with the same crew each week, it's a good opportunity to meet new friends.

So . . . if you are in professional ministry, I hope you can find something like this that can offer the benefits I've listed. I believe that this is one of the most important things that keeps me from burnout. It is time consuming and takes away some of my time from church which is absolutely great! It gives me a reason to say, "NO!" on ocassion and let them know I have a life. I do think it would be too much to do other sports, but it gives me something to look forward to for three months a year, and then, back to life as normal!

Back to the Grind

Summer is officially over as our youth ministry goes. We are finishing up on what has been my busiest summer ever . . . whew . . . the result has been seldom a post here. I'd like to spend some time refocusing on my blog, so hopefully, people will want to stop by and read once in awhile. I only have a minute right now, but in the next few days I will be reviewing a few books I found time to finish up the past few weeks:


Newbigin's book I read through with our intern this summer. It's a challenging, though very significant contribution to missiology.

I'm quickly becoming a huge Miroslav Volf fan. I finished this book up a few weeks ago and currently am tackling his much acclaimed book Exclusion and Embrace. This is a fascinating and unique book on reconciliation and the place of memory for those who have done us wrong.


This book was a real quick read through some simple, substantive programs, projects, causes that Christians can join in their commission to change the world. Written as a no-holding-back, get-out-and-get-busy guide, it's a great encouragement to see great things happening in our world.

I'll have more to say on these in a few days, but thought I would start to get back at it today. Thanks for stopping by if you read this!

Quick Post

It has been awhile since I've had a chance to post here, major disappointment for all those faithful readers . . . ha ha ha, there are so many of you I'm sure. Anyway, things at the church have been hectic this summer, out one of activity into another which has led me to really question and critique the value of each one, that's something I'll be weighing in the future.

One of the real blessings of working for a church is being able to constantly be involved in ministries/projects/efforts that help people out. Sometimes I wonder if my true calling wasn't to social work or social services because I seem to feel most at home in the rundown Delaware Hotel listening to yet another life story of yet another down and out (most recently I was privy to a guy who was smoking pot and drinking beer with a couple he just me there). Earlier this summer we got to paint eight houses and make a small impact on eight different families through our teenagers involvement there. This past week we had our Vacation Bible School where Indiana Jones went on a search for the lost staff of Moses - getting the opportunity to share in teaching our young people here at Alum Creek the Bible. Sunday we leave for Cedar Rapids, Iowa where we'll be working with people there to help clean out flooded homes left from last month's storms.

Whenever I get frustrated about working in full-time ministry (and believe me, there is plenty to be frustrated about), the thing that keeps me positive and assured of my calling is opportunities like these - which doesn't even take into account the many hours along the way of getting to disciple and teach teenagers and young people. Full-time ministry really is a calling and a blessing to all of us that have been called. It is enigmatic to be sure, not fully understood by anyone unless they've been there; it is unusual and does not fit into any traditional vocational mold, fatiguing in different kinds of ways - spiritually, emotionally, mentally, in additional to physically.

I would never suggest or even lean towards the fact that full-time ministry is more important than any other profession, or that it is any more difficult or challenging. The truth of the matter is, the vast majority of full-time ministers in our country have been nurtured more than most and few probably realize that. However, because it is so often to understand and appreciate, it is probably most often under-appreciated just how hard we work, just how tired we get, and just how frustrating it can be. Everyone seems to want to get in pissing contests in regards to their work - I probably was there early on, but I have become content with where I am, my work ethic, and my job. I understand where God has called me to, and what he has called me to do. There are weeks that I fulfilling nearly to the extent which God intends, but far more often, I leave the work woefully short. My only hope and confidence is that God's grace lives in the gaps. He doesn't need me to get his work done. Truth be told, God is at work everywhere and within everyone.

And that's all I have to say about that . . .

Things Changing

Hope you like the new artwork . . . I'll be cleaning that up in coming weeks. The main thing I wanted to do today is get things realigned so that I can work towards refocusing my own posts here on this page and providing an alternative place to share resources and information that other's are working on. This is where I'll be posting book reviews from now on. Hopefully, I'll find time to post here about once every week or two . . . we'll see how that shakes out. Hope you enjoy the new look.